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Being alone, far away from you is a very difficult journey that I am trying to pass out. It’s been more than 15 days now, but I still remember every moment of the pain and sorrow that I went through because of you. I am having hard time recognizing myself. Myself. Not attached with you in any manner. Myself as one.

My personality had been given a shape that you wanted. As a year passed with us being together in a relation, I started to forget what I really liked, needed, wanted to do. Soon I forgot myself as one and started molding myself as your girlfriend and not as me, a single self. Another new year was born and I was completely transformed into something you wanted me to be. I was lost into you. I didn’t know who I was. You made me do things I didn’t want to, yet I did as you pleased, because I wanted to be a good lover. Deep inside I was killed. I was unhappy. I was lonely. I was addicted to your need, to sharing myself with you. Sometimes it was just a fake smile that hung on my lips, which I assumed was real. Which I made myself believe, that it was real. I was just being nice because I was madly in love with you. I got nothing in return; no love, no trust, no faith, no acceptance, no wishes that I could have, no choice but to follow you. Deep inside I didn’t know that somewhere there was this innocent girl who wanted to do stuffs, which were ignored by the conscience of my brain. You didn’t accept me the way I was, didn’t accept my cheerfulness. I was always told by you how to behave in front of others, when to laugh and when to not. You ruled me as if I was your priced possession.

Wasn’t I that girl for you who should always be available even when she was not well, not in a condition to talk? Wasn’t I the type of girl for you who didn’t get the choice weather to go out with you or not? Wasn’t I always supposed to be there for you when you wanted? Wasn’t it like this always? Just the force and male dominance which you claimed to be ‘love’?  Who was I to you in real? Even though I always knew this, I couldn’t accept the fact and let it go because I was in love. So stupidly in love that I was ready to hurt myself and kill my happiness for your sake.

It would have been so much worth it if you really loved me back too. If you really trusted me and wanted me for who I was and didn’t take me for granted. So I decided to shut those who didn’t make me happy! You were shuttled away too! Ha…..!!